Last night was a rough night, the kind of night where you find yourself silently crying yourself to sleep.
It wasn't set off by anything in particular. As I settled into bed, I just found myself thinking of the things that I am failing miserably at lately and it became too much for me to handle and I just started bawling. There's a song in my church that talks about counting your blessings and naming them one by one, but last night I found myself counting my flaws instead. It was a long list. And I was mad because I feel like I've been putting so much effort into improving myself but I have hardly anything to show for it. I'm not talking about weight loss (although that was one of the items on my list). I'm talking about all sorts of other aspects of my life that affect me and my husband.
I just wish I were a better person.
I'm going to take last night and reevaluate my priorities and get back on track. Pity parties are lame and I don't want anymore of them in my honor. I deserve to be more than I currently am, and my husband deserves more from me. I'm not sure why I chose to share this today, but I guess I just wanted to let you know that I'm human and that I struggle. Does anyone else ever get bogged down by the weight of their responsibilities? I can't even imagine how much harder this would be for me if I had kids! The thought is nearly overwhelming!
Any advice on how to juggle a 50 hour a week job, training for a marathon, and home responsibilities? This girl could use some help!