However, there was one very large black cloud moment for me during this weekend. My little niece Allie is SO sweet and cute. She loves her Aunt Becky like crazy. But she's also a little girl and as such has no filter and doesn't know when something is necessarily "appropriate" to say. Case in point, last night:
I have a ultrasound photo of my little boy hanging on my fridge. My nephew commented and said "Oh how cute, it's your baby when he was in your belly!" My niece, with her adorable little face and big brown eyes (she's 4 1/2 years old) looks up at me and says "Oh fun! That's him when he was in your belly! He's not in your belly now, but it still looks like you have a baby in your belly! You don't, but it still looks like you do!"
Oh man. The honesty of children...
She was so sweet. She seriously said it two or three times like it was no big deal, just a fact. She didn't mean any malice by it and you could tell she had NO intention of saying anything hurtful to me. She probably would cry if she knew it had made me sad. But the reality of the situation is, I DO look like I still have a baby in my belly. Darn that extra pouch! I fought back the tears and decided that I needed to make the best of this decision. I can delude myself into thinking I look great for just having had a baby, or I can man up and face the mirror and realize that I don't like what I'm seeing and that I need to work HARD to put the brakes on and make sure that I don't end up as a permanently overweight mom. I want to be able to keep up with my children and play hard with them! Plus, my little boy is getting heavy and I want to be able to lug him around without feeling like my arm is going to break off!
So...I need to get back to the basics. Working out. Watching what I eat. And probably counting calories.
*sigh*
I can't wait for the day when this is all just second nature to me!
I'll never ever forget the day my 5 year old cousin tapped on my belly at my brothers wedding during the family pictures infront of not only my immediate but also extended family and asked "Shelley when is your baby due"? I was completely mortified and sadly it is all I can think about when I reflect on my brothers wedding. This was 10 years ago and I will never forget it!
ReplyDeleteJust take it one step at a time. I think the hardest thing to remember about reaching any goal in life is that it takes time. Hang in there and enjoy life in the meantime...don't let your diet take over your life. :)
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ReplyDeleteCrystal x
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