Tuesday, May 3, 2011

If I had blogged yesterday...

...it wouldn't have been pretty.  Yesterday I was feeling the agony of defeat.  I was reading everyone's updates on their progress for April goals and I realized that I barely eeked out one of my four goals.  Let's recap, shall we?

April goals were as follows:
  • Lose 4 lbs by April 30th (this would put me at around 148)
  • Run 80 miles
  • Rock my first HALF MARATHON!!
  • Fit comfortably in my size 30 jeans from Buckle (they used to fit and are now back to being dangerously tight, especially given my history....

Hmmm...Lose 4 lbs?  I'm not sure what my current weight is, but let's just say that I got clear down to 148 and then the next week weighed in somewhere around 155.  W.T.F. people.  I'm not even sure how that happens.  I counted calories religiously for the month, and busted my butt running and I ended up higher than I started.  Last night all I could think was, "what was the point of all this?"

Run 80 miles:  I ran 74.  I had a knee injury that stopped me from hitting those last 6 miles.  I'll give myself a pass on this one because I made a valiant effort, and it was a good decision not to run those missing miles on a hurt knee.

Rock my first Half Marathon:  Race recap will be tomorrow.  I finished it, and considering the knee pain I was running through I consider it "rocking" my half marathon.  So yay!

Fit comfortably in my size 30 jeans...yeah, that ain't happening.  They fit the same as they did earlier this month, which means that all the weight I gained wasn't muscle weight.  Boo!!

Anyway, the sum of all these missed goals was too much for me last night.  I was discouraged, frustrated, and frankly, quite ticked off.  I nearly posted "I QUIT," and left the blog at that.  I'm going mental not being able to break this stupid plateau, and now I'm injured which means my physical activity level is going to take a hit making it worse for my body.  Yikes.  

But...today is a new day.  I am not a quitter, and I'm in this for the long haul.  I'm going to use this injury to branch out to new activities and hopefully mix it up enough that my body starts responding again.  Biking tonight...lifting weights for the rest of the month.  I have an appointment with a physical therapist this week to look at my knee and I will see when I can start adding running back in.  She says it is not likely I will be able to run this month which is a big bummer.  I'm trying not to think about the races I will miss out on because that is highly discouraging.  

Anyway, here is to continuing on this journey and one day (I know it will happen someday!) finally seeing results from all this effort!  :)


  1. I'm sure you can get back on the right track!

  2. sorry about your knee! But maybe not being able to run will really force you to try some new things and get your body back to guessing!

  3. Newly fallowing but I'd say You already are a SUCCESS! Perhaps you should go back re-read ALL your postings. That way you can follow your progress the way I did reading through them all. Take car of yourself and your body & you'll get where you're determined to be!

  4. It will happen! Just stay focused on your goal and keep on pushing :)

  5. Sometimes a little break helps break the plateau. Just sayin'...

    And as far as them being missed goals, maybe more heartening to call them "delayed" goals :)

    You WILL get through this barrier!

  6. I haven't been blogging much these days, but I want to write an "I Quit" blog. I just can't. You'll get there, I know it!

  7. You have a great attitude - being in this for the long haul. That's the important thing and the same thing I tell myself. It's a lifestyle :)

  8. May is a new month, set new goals and work towards them. I know you can do it :)
    Congrats on rocking your half marathon. Can't wait to read about it.