Still Alive!

Oh geez.  It's been FOREVER since I've popped on this blog.  The only reason I am right now was because I wasn't even sure I remembered my login and wanted to see if I still had access to my account!  Whoops!

Anyway, I am alive!  And now I have 2 beautiful boys, aged 4 and 6.  Life is awesome and Harvey has healed so well from his accident (I also am posting so I can move those awful pictures further down the page).  You can't even really tell he was burned unless you look closely.  I am so grateful for that miracle!

As you probably expect, I've had a tough time losing the weight after my babies.  But I'm actively working out and trying to get back into shape.  I post to a shared instagram called @frumpyfitnessfriends if you want to see those adventures.  Each day I am getting closer to where I want to be!  Follow along if you want.  The support of the blogging world was always so motivating back in the day!

Healing with Harvey

I'm sorry for the lack of posts lately.  I have a lot on my plate!  But the good news is that I am being active and am also counting calories.  I am down 5 lbs from my highest weight.  I am happy about that!  I'm just taking each day at a time, and not letting it all stress me out.  In the grand scheme of things, it's okay if it comes off slowly.

I thought that I would share my page that I made for my son and his story.  For those of you (all two of you!) that still read this blog and wanted an update on our situation, you can find all the nitty gritty details here:

Healing with Harvey

I post on there at least weekly with photos and updates.  Check it out if you feel so inclined.  The more people that know his story, the less little babies that might get hurt by being burned!  That's the goal anyway...  :)

When Your World Falls Apart (Warning: Graphic Photos)

So I disappeared. But I had a very valid reason to suddenly vanish from the face of blogland. My son was involved in a major accident at home and we ended up in the Burn Trauma Intensive Care Unit for nearly a week. He had 2nd and 3rd degree burns on his face, neck, chest, back, and arm. It was the worst month of my life. He avoided skin grafts by nothing short of a true miracle. They thought he would definitely have to get them, but he managed to heal up on his own. It took over 6 weeks for his wounds to close, but we are finally in a place where we don't have to do daily wound care. Both mama and baby are VERY happy about this.

I will be creating a separate blog that details his journey (and my own) because I don't feel like a weight loss blog is the most appropriate place to lay all the gory details out, but I did want to post something on it to kind of explain where my head has been. To say my focus on my health went out the window is an understatement. It seemed so silly to me to be worrying about extra fat on my body when suddenly we were worried about skin grafts, scarring, and breathing issues. Now that we are a bit further out from the trauma, I have refocused and want to be healthy so I can play with my little boy like he wants and deserves. However, I have a month of stress eating to recover from. Here's a quick snapshot of the horror we saw over the past month:

Pretty much a mother's worst nightmare.  He was badly scalded by some hot food from a crockpot that fell on him.  Horrible horrible horrible.  He has several years of recovery ahead of him, but his scarring should be minimal.  The doctors don't think his face will scar which is a straight up miracle as it took the brunt of the burn.  God really does listen and answer prayers.  His arm will be scarred and he will have to wear a pressure garment on it for a couple years to try to flatten potential scarring, but given the extent of the burn (25% of his body) we feel pretty dang blessed that this is the worst we have to deal with.  

Anyway, it is hard to sum up with words how much this event affected me and changed me so I will just summarize it by saying it was traumatic and I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy.  I am glad that with each day that passes we are closer to having my happy healthy boy back.

Yesterday at the park--looking pretty dang good!

So that's where I've been.  And now I am just trying to get back on track and eat good clean food and move my body.  Scale said 174 this morning.  It is what it is, and I will get myself back to where I used to be soon enough.  Somehow the weight gain doesn't seem quite as devastating to me as it used to.  :)

The Time Will Pass Anyway

This.

This has been on my mind a lot lately.  It sometimes becomes a daunting task to look at the work that has to be done in order to achieve my goals.  I get discouraged and think I will never make it so I just give up.  But in reality, the time is going to pass anyway.  I might as well dedicate that time to improving myself.  Maybe it will take 5 years.  Maybe 10.  But SOMEDAY I will get there.

Speaking of goals, I've got some:

• Pass the Army Fitness test
• Deadlift 200+ lbs
• Do a kipping pullup
• Do a standard pullup
• RX a Crossfit WOD
• Run a sub 1-hour 10k
• Run a sub 30-min 5k

I have got a LOT of work to do.  I am basically starting from ground zero on both my strength and my cardio.  I'm still not cleared to run, but I have been power walking each night after I put my babe down to sleep.  I've also started doing Crossfit during my lunch break.  I am SO sore and am SO happy about it.  I may not reach these goals this year, but SOMEDAY I will reach them.  I just have to keep striving for it!

21 Day Sugar Detox: RESULTS!

It's been 21 days, and on all but one day I was sugar free.  I had a small cheat when a friend made us homemade bread for dinner.  She didn't know we were detoxing and I just didn't feel it was worth it to throw away her hard work just for a perfect three weeks.  Some may choose differently, but I felt it was the right thing to do in the situation.

Anyway, let's get to the fun stuff!  How did my body like being without sugar for three weeks?  After seeing the results, it is safe to say my body loved it:

If you add that up, it ends up being 14.25 inches lost.  I'm most happy with the change my waist made!  I can definitely feel the difference of those now-missing 4.5 inches.  I will confess that the day before I took my measurements I had actually weighed in at 178 lbs but just couldn't bear to post that weight as it ties with the highest I have ever weighed (other than while pregnant).  So all in all, I am VERY happy to be dropping down back to a place I am happy with.

So what's next?  Well, the detox ended yesterday but I am still sugar-free as of right now.  I like the way my body is responding to the lack of sugar, and I believe I will continue on this course and only have sugar when it is a special treat.  I think if I can keep eating clean and really get back into working out, I might be able to hit my big goal.

Oh yeah, my big goal!  I would love to be down THIRTY pounds by my THIRTIETH birthday!  That would be from my starting weight of 178 which would put me down to 148.  I will actually be happy around 150, but 28 by 30 doesn't have the same ring to it!  ;)

It's going to be a LOT of work and dedication, but I'm motivated.  One, I want to be back to a "non-overweight" weight range according to the BMI.  Two, I want to fit into the bulk of my wardrobe again.  Three, I am sick of being out of breath doing simple stuff.  And four, and most importantly, I want to be in top fighting shape for when I get pregnant again.  I do not want to have another pregnancy where I can't work out.

Plan of attack:

• Continue clean eating with extremely limited sugar
• Power walk  for 45 minutes each weekday
• Crossfit on MWF for an hour

That will mean that I will be working out twice a day 3 times a week.  While it is a bit intense, I really feel like it is the best course of action to get me to where I want to be in the time I have to get it done.  

Anyway, if you are on the fence about trying the detox I say to DO IT.  I am so happy with my results, and most importantly I feel a lot better.  Wahooo!

Week 2 of the Sugar Detox

I'm almost halfway through the sugar detox!  And let me tell you, the end of last week was rough for me!  I wanted treats in the WORST way!  But I persevered and this week has been MUCH easier.  Thank goodness!  Too bad I have a massive cold and have been laid up in bed.  I wanted to start exercising this week, but it looks like that has to be put on the back burner for a few days.

In keeping with the theme of sugar, I saw this video today and thought I would share it.  It definitely explains some of my behavior regarding sugar lately.  I'm even more glad now that I am doing this detox!



I'm also seeing great results on the scale!  That is very encouraging.  So if you are thinking about starting this detox, I definitely recommend you bite the bullet and go for it!  You will be happy you have done it.

A week and a half to go!

21 Day Sugar Detox

*taps mic*

Hello?.....Anybody there?....

My oh my.  Life gets away from you sometimes, doesn't it?  I haven't posted since October and I'm pretty sure that's the longest I've ever gone without an update.  And you know what they say: silence on a blog is never a good thing!

So what's been going on with me?  I've officially finished physical therapy as of Monday (woot woot!!) and am cleared to start an "aggressive power walking routine" which just makes me chuckle.  I've never really considered power walking to be "aggressive" although I do know it can be a great workout.  So I will be starting that shortly.  In the months of being unable to be active, my weight increased far more than I'd like to admit.  I've found that in order for me to truly be successful, I have to combine working out and eating right.  If I'm not working out, I tend to eat far worse than I would if I was.  I know that isn't logical, but that's definitely the way it is for me!

Now that I am in the clear, I have also started to get my diet back on track.  To kick it off, I am doing a 21-day Sugar Detox with Hubster.  It's a gradual detox so you don't just cut everything out at once, which makes me happy because I am clearly addicted to the sweet stuff after the holiday season.  Here are the "rules" of the program:

Week 1:

Remove all obvious sugars that include:

Cookies
Muffins
Doughnuts
Candy
Chocolate
Cake

Week 2:

Continue with week 1 protocol and also remove not-so-obvious sugars that include anything with:

Artificial sweeteners (ALL of them)
High fructose corn syrup
Corn syrup
Maple syrup
Honey

Week 3:

Continue with week 1 & 2 and also remove any and all products that contain white flour that include, but not limited to:

White bread
Cereals
Pasta
Bagels
Croissants

I'm currently on Day 3. The first day was easy, but it is getting a bit harder with each passing day. Man, I want those tasty goodies! But I know that if I can just break up with them for a little bit, my cravings will be significantly less in the long term.

In the spirit of tracking all the dirty details of a diet on the internet, I'm also going to be tracking my progress. I took before measurements and will take measurements again after the 21 days. I'm not expecting a huge decrease, but it will be interesting to see nonetheless. Without further ado, here are my numbers:

If you saw that number and thought, "Holy shiz! She's gained a lot of weight!" then you are not alone my friend. That was my very thought. It's easy to deceive yourself into thinking you look better than you do, but numbers don't lie. Or pants. My pants definitely don't lie. So it's time to get back in the game and really make an effort. I'm turning 30 this year and I want to be in much better shape for that day!

And with that, I leave you to go eat a nice healthy salad for dinner. I'll update you on my progress soon!

Christmas on an Elk Ranch!

Graston Technique aka Torture

I've officially been in my sexy boot for over 4 weeks now.  What originally was thought to be a 2 week adventure in Bootland has now extended to at least 6 weeks.  I've been going to physical therapy every other weekday to get the Graston Technique done on my Achilles, along with having to do some stretches and exercises.  I don't mind the stretching and exercises, but MAN the Graston technique hurts!!  Seriously, every time I get it done I am surprised at how badly it hurts.  But it seems to be working, so I'm happy about that.

So what is the Graston Technique?  I had never heard of it, but after getting it done to me I decided to research it a bit more.  This is what I've found:

Source

That sounds nice and wonderful, but the reality is that they take a scary looking metal tool with sharp edges and push nearly as hard as they can on the sorest spot on your injury and literally grind/scrape away the scar tissue.  It takes all my willpower not to scream/kick at them or cry.  I frequently leave the appointments with bruises.

This is the torture device used on me

And there is a lovely bruise from the tool

I am pretty sure it is the most painful thing (other than childbirth) that I have voluntarily gone through while awake.  I think it would be bad enough on a healthy tendon, but that area on me is currently sore just to touch so having that much pressure applied to it with such a sharp edge results in quite a bit of pain.  However, I keep going back for more because it really does seem to be working.  I can feel more mobility in my tendon, and the "bump" of scar tissue I had on the back of my tendon feels smaller every day.  I am REALLY hoping this works for me, for several reasons!  One, I am more than ready to get back to being active.  Two, it really freaking hurts so I would hate to go through it for no good reason!  :)

I have another appointment with my podiatrist (separate from my physical therapist) on Monday to see how much longer I need to wear the boot.  Even if I get the approval to take it off, my PT wants me to gradually taper down from wearing it so I will be in it at least 6 weeks total if not more.  I must admit--this is taking much longer to heal than I expected!  However, after reading this article I am beginning to understand why just resting the tendon and not working out did not do anything to alleviate the pain.  I'm just glad I finally went to the doctor when I did so that I wasn't having to wear the boot throughout the winter!  I just wish I would have gone earlier so I might have been able to actually get outdoors this summer.  Oh well, you live and you learn!

I am looking forward to being at the end of the healing process with my achilles so that I can come up with a workout plan that I can actually do and commit to.  My doctors have warned me that I have to start out really slowly, but that I should be able to ramp up fairly quickly after my achilles has proved itself.  I'm anxious for that stage to be here!  I was hoping to run a Turkey Trot 10k for Thanksgiving, but there is no way I will be able to.  At this point, I'd be lucky to run a 5k!

So that's where I'm currently at.  I will keep you updated!  Oh, and don't let my pain talk scare you away from this technique if your doctors think you need it done.  The actual "grinding" part only takes about 5 minutes of the appointment and it really does seem to be working.  For me, the pain will be more than worth it once my injury is healed!

Booty Call!

So now my little monster is 7 months old and crawling all around.  He's adorable and I love him so freaking much.  He keeps me on my toes!

What have I been up to for the last month?  Well, we took a week long vacation to Lake Powell at the beginning of September.  That is a great time to visit the lake because the water is so warm, but the temps are a bit cooler (around 90 instead of 100+).  Well, that is how it USUALLY is, but for some reason we got to experience 105 degree temps during the week!  It was HOT, particularly with no A/C and having a baby with us.  Good thing the water helps keep us cool!  Baby Boy was totally a champ and really enjoyed himself down there.  He loves the sights and he definitely loved swimming!  I think he went through withdrawals when we left!

Do you know what else is up since I lasted blogged?  You guessed it...my weight.  I somehow managed to gain TEN POUNDS in Lake Powell.  I'm not even sure that is physically possible, but somehow it must be because it happened.  I thought that originally it must be salt bloat, but it clearly is not.  I've lost a few of those pounds but I am still wavering between 167 and 168 pounds.  I'm not pleased about that.

Additionally, my plans to work out have also hit a snag due to lingering tendonitis in my achilles.  You may remember I struggled with both achilles tendonitis and plantar fasciitis last year.  I've finally had enough of the pain and went to a podiatrist.  He has me in a boot for the next 5 weeks, along with some intense physical therapy.  I am really hoping to get this fixed once and for all!

My friend named this sexy beast "Booty Call" hence the title of this post.  Hopefully I can be done with it soon!  I've been in it two weeks already, so only three more (hopefully) to go!

6 Months

It has been six months since this sweet little boy joined our family.  I can't imagine life without him!

Can I get a pause button, please??

An Addiction

I'm addicted.  I'm addicted to soda and have been for a while.  At work, we have a soda fountain that is free for all employees meaning I have unlimited access to my drug of choice.  As a working mom with a baby who doesn't sleep through the night, that glass of caffeine each day was a blessing and a way to get through the hours and stay awake.  But it is not healthy for me (or for baby after I did some research) and it is time for me to stop.  Cold turkey.  No more soda for me.

Part of me is very sad about this.  I seriously love the stuff and wish so badly that it was a magical drink that did your body good.  But alas, it is terrible for me (both diet and non-diet) and I know this.

The rest of me is proud I finally have the strength to make this decision and put my health first.  I will be better off both mentally and physically for making this choice.  While some people might think this is a simple choice and it's stupid that it should even be hard for me, others will understand the addicting side of soda and relate.  It's a bit bizarre to associate so much happiness with a beverage, but that's what I've done and need to move forward from now.

Today's Weigh-in: 162.2

And a photo of me with my little boy since I haven't posted one yet:

I sure love this little boy!

Hard to Get in the Game

Uggghhhhhhh.  Getting back in the mentality of losing weight sucks!  It's so much easier when you are already on the bandwagon and doing things out of habit.

I weigh the exact same as I did last week.  No progress.  And I only have myself to blame.

My excuses that I used throughout the week:
"I'm too tired."
"I don't have time."
"Family is in town."

But in reality, those are just excuses.  The truth is that I didn't place priority on myself and I wanted to make the unhealthy choices because they are more "fun."  Eating healthy and working out isn't currently "fun" to me, and until I make the switch in my brain and get back to finding joy in choosing to be healthy I won't be successful.

Trying again this week...fingers crossed for better luck.

The Reality

Finding motivation to lose weight and be healthy after having a baby is hard.  Unexpectedly hard.  All I want to do is snuggle my baby and spend as much time with him as I can.  I work from 8-5 and when I come home, I want to spend my time focusing on my son so that he knows that mama loves him.  However, I also want him to have a mom that is healthy and can keep up with him.  He's already trying to crawl at 5 1/2 months so I know this boy is going to be a mover!  And I don't want to be the mom sitting on the sidelines watching; I want to participate!

So I've enlisted help.  My sister and I are going to be doing weekly weigh-ins to motivate each other.  I'm going to focus on "making the better choice" and moving my body.  

Starting weight: 163 lbs

Weekly goals: 

• Move:  Crossfit.  Walk. Run.  Whatever.  I just need to move 3X this week.
• Eat: Clean eating, no fast food, limited treats and soda.  I need to kick my soda habit in a BAD way.
• Weight:  I have some bloat from this past weekend.  I hope to weigh around 160 come next Monday.

I'll update you next week!

The Honesty of Children

I loooooove my nieces and nephews.  They came into town this weekend and stayed with us for a couple of nights.  We went to ball games, had a BBQ, and did a little bit of shopping.  The weather was perfect all weekend, and we really enjoyed having them up.  

However, there was one very large black cloud moment for me during this weekend.  My little niece Allie is SO sweet and cute.  She loves her Aunt Becky like crazy.  But she's also a little girl and as such has no filter and doesn't know when something is necessarily "appropriate" to say.  Case in point, last night:

I have a ultrasound photo of my little boy hanging on my fridge.  My nephew commented and said "Oh how cute, it's your baby when he was in your belly!"  My niece, with her adorable little face and big brown eyes (she's 4 1/2 years old) looks up at me and says "Oh fun!  That's him when he was in your belly!  He's not in your belly now, but it still looks like you have a baby in your belly!  You don't, but it still looks like you do!"

Oh man.  The honesty of children...

She was so sweet.  She seriously said it two or three times like it was no big deal, just a fact.  She didn't mean any malice by it and you could tell she had NO intention of saying anything hurtful to me.  She probably would cry if she knew it had made me sad.  But the reality of the situation is, I DO look like I still have a baby in my belly.  Darn that extra pouch!  I fought back the tears and decided that I needed to make the best of this decision.  I can delude myself into thinking I look great for just having had a baby, or I can man up and face the mirror and realize that I don't like what I'm seeing and that I need to work HARD to put the brakes on and make sure that I don't end up as a permanently overweight mom.  I want to be able to keep up with my children and play hard with them!  Plus, my little boy is getting heavy and I want to be able to lug him around without feeling like my arm is going to break off!

So...I need to get back to the basics.  Working out.  Watching what I eat.  And probably counting calories.

*sigh*

I can't wait for the day when this is all just second nature to me!

Where the heck have I been?

My little boy is THREE months old!  Holy cow!  Where in the world does the time go?  I have no idea, but I wish it would slow down.  He's growing up way too fast!  And yesterday was my first day back at work so of course that sucked.  I missed my little man!

Can you blame me?  Who wouldn't miss this cute face?  Okay, okay, I know I'm biased but I just can't help it.  I love him!

So, good news and bad news.  First, the bad news:  I gained weight.  Gross.  I weighed in at 164 lbs on Tuesday.  Yikes.  Apparently all those calories that are being burned by breast feeding aren't enough to compensate for a bad diet!  (duh)  Now the good news:  I am working out each morning at Hubster's Crossfit gym and I am loving it.  Minus the fact that I get my butt handed to me daily, it actually is quite a lot of fun.  If you think nearly vomiting is fun.  ;)  But in all seriousness, it's been good to get back at it. I am seriously weak, but I know that it is temporary and one day I can be proud of the weights I'm lifting in the gym.  I'll get there soon enough!

Baby Boy's Birth Story

Wow.  Time flies by so very quickly.  I've been trying to write this post for the last three weeks, but somehow I just haven't had the time.  Being a mom is surprisingly time demanding!  :)

This post is more for my own memory rather than being something that the blogger world will care about, but I started this blog to use it as a journal and I'm going to continue doing that!

TMI ALERT---This is a labor story, so it's gonna get icky.  Read at your own risk.  :)

As you might know, my due date was February 27th.  That assumed a 40 week gestation period, and I had learned in our birthing class that the average woman usually delivers around 41 weeks and 1 day if she is left to her own devices and doesn't get induced.  For my own personal reasons, I really didn't want to get induced.  I wanted Baby Boy to come when he was ready to and not when I or my doctor wanted him to.  Because of that, I always assumed he would be born sometime during the first week in March.  I was kind of hoping for 3/1/13 or 3/3/13 just because I am weird and like fun numbers, but I definitely didn't think I'd have a February baby.

On the morning of February 27th, I had my 40 week prenatal appointment.  They "checked' me and I was dilated to a 3 and effaced to 80%.  I had had some contractions the night before and had thought I might be in labor, but they had stopped the second I fell asleep and I hadn't had any more that morning.  The midwife asked me if I had a history of fast labors in my family.  After thinking about it, I really couldn't say that I did.  my sisters all delivered around the average of 12-18 hours.  My mom had fast labors, but I wasn't sure that she tracked the timing the same way they do now.  My midwife commented that my body had already done a lot of the work so I might get lucky and have a fast delivery.  I laughed and told myself to plan on the exact opposite; no woman wants to get her hopes up for a fast delivery and then labor for 24+ hours!

After my appointment, I went to work and had a typical work day.  I only had one contraction while at work and it wasn't even painful.  I could just feel my abdomen tightening up.  That was okay with me, though, as my doula's son was getting married on the 28th and I was on strict orders not to have a baby that day because she wouldn't be able to help me!  I knew that if I went into labor that afternoon, I would be laboring into the 28th.

After work, I came home and lounged for a bit.  One of the final things on my "to-do" list was to have Hubster take photos of my baby bump.  I only had photos of it on my camera phone and I wanted some higher quality ones so I could remember what my bump looked like.  He got home at six and we quickly took some photos outside.  Nothing fancy, but enough to remember by:

I can never be serious.

My doula had warned me to not finish my "to-do" list because as soon as it was done, my body would be okay going into labor and she wouldn't be around to help me.  I should've listened to her.  ;)

After taking photos, we went inside and sat down to watch the TV show Merlin on Netflix.  We were on the season 4 two-part finale.  We watched the first one and it ended at 8:15.  We debated for a bit on whether or not we wanted to watch the second part or go to bed.  Since I was pregnant, I was super tired (note: HAHAHAHA--you THOUGHT you were tired!) and wanted to go to bed early but I decided that I could stay up for another 45 minutes to finish the season.  The show would be over at 9 which was manageable. 

We started the second part of the finale, and within minutes I wasn't feel good.  I was uncomfortable and couldn't get adjusted in a way that helped.  I tried pelvic rocks, tailor sitting, the works and nothing was helping.  I found that I was very distracted from the show.  Within 15 minutes of turning the last episode on, I was in enough pain that I decided I couldn't watch and opted to go upstairs and go to sleep to see if I could get the contractions to start.  Once I got to my room, I realized that the contractions were strong enough that I wasn't likely to sleep through them so I decided to take a bath instead to help relax them away.  

TMI ALERT---Icky details are starting.  :)

Before I climbed into the tub, I decided to pee.  When I wiped, the toilet paper came away BRIGHT red.  It scared the crap out of me.  I had heard about the "bloody show" but had always imagined it would look more like period blood rather than "holy crap I'm bleeding internally" blood.  With the pain I was feeling, I thought something was wrong and I instantly yelled for my husband and said. "SOMETHING'S WRONG.  WE NEED TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL.  NOW!!!"

I'm not dramatic at all...

Luckily, he had a cool head on him.  Also, he hadn't noticed that I was in labor yet and didn't even realize that I was having contractions.  I don't even think he noticed that I was writhing around in pain during the episode or that I had wandered off to the bathroom.  Given that he missed all of that, he maintained a calm head and said "Um, let's call the doula first.  She will be able to tell us if we need to go to the hospital or if this is normal."

I called her (note to self: dumb idea.  Contractions are lame and hard to talk through.  Next time have the man talk to her) and explained what I was feeling.  I kind of didn't fully tell her how bad the contractions were.  I told her about the blood and that I was having contractions, but I didn't tell her how close or how hard they were.  I said I'd text her any developments and that I was going to get in the tub and start timing my contractions.

The tub felt awesome and I started timing my contractions on some random app I downloaded on my phone.  I was horrified when I saw the results.  My contractions were last a minute and happening every two minutes like clockwork.  I had always assumed that they would start out slow and build up to that, but that didn't happen for me.  I didn't have time to do anything I needed to do (thank goodness I had packed my hospital bag!) and I was in so much pain that I couldn't have done anything even if I'd had the time!

It quickly got serious so Hubster texted our doula Amy and told her to get down here right away.  Luckily, she was able to come and labor with me during the night.  She said she'd have to leave in the morning but she could help me throughout the evening.  I was glad of that!

She showed up at our house about a half an hour later.  She immediately checked me out for emotional signposts and said that I was pretty far along.  I was talking a bit more than she'd like, but I was clearly in labor and it was the real thing.  Normally she has you labor at home for as long as you can and then gets you to the hospital when you are dilated to a 5 or above, but I had tested positive for Group-B Strep so I had to get there a little earlier to get the antibiotic.  Plus, I really wanted to get out of my stupid shallow tub and into their very deep labor tubs.  With that in mind, I only labored at home with her for about 45 minutes before she had us leave for the hospital.

Leaving for the hospital was a joke.  My contractions were so close together that I couldn't get anything done.  I needed to get dressed, but kept having painful contractions that stopped my progress.  Walking down the stairs was horrible.  And riding in the car was the worst.  Luckily, Amy had told Hubster to grab some garbage bags "in case she throws up on the drive."  I hadn't thrown up the entire pregnancy, and I never throw up, but that turned out to be some really sage advice because right as the hospital came into view I told Hubster that I felt like puking every time I had a contraction.  Two seconds after saying that, I puked.  Five times in a row.  Of the two garbage sacks he grabbed, I luckily grabbed the one that didn't have a huge hole in the bottom of it!  :)  Also, I had eaten breakfast burritos for dinner which is a horrible thing to throw up, just for the record...

On the way to the hospital I had remarked that I wasn't sure I was going to be able to have a natural (unmedicated) birth.  The pain was super strong and I was worried I wouldn't be able to handle it.  I was really hoping that we would arrive at the hospital and they would tell me that I was dilated to an 8 and nearly ready to push!  However, once they got us checked in they informed me that I was only dilated to a 3 and 80% effaced.  That was EXACTLY what I was at that morning without being in labor.  Talk about discouraging!!  I really thought I was done for at that point.  Luckily my doula told me to brush it off and ignore the numbers because I was physically and emotionally way farther along in labor than my body was showing.  

They couldn't admit me because of my dismal numbers, but they would keep me for an hour for observation.  Worst hour of my life.  The contractions were still coming on hard and strong and right after each other.  I couldn't get in the big tub because I wasn't admitted.  Being out of the water made the contractions even more painful, but luckily my doula knew some handy massage/pressure techniques that helped take the edge off.  They worked surprisingly well.  

Eventually they let me get into their Jacuzzi bath tubs they have in the labor rooms.  They aren't deep, but they are better than the labor beds.  I was a little bit happier in them.  By this point I was super serious and really feeling the pain of labor.  It was roughly 11 pm by this point.  An hour passed and they checked me again.  I was expecting (again) to be at an 8 or so, but I had only progressed to a 4.5.  Luckily, it was enough progress to convince them that I was actually in labor so they let me get in the big tub.  FINALLY.  Only one problem, though---the hospital was somehow out of hot water.  They only had mildly warmish water so the tub was pretty cold to me.  While that sucked, it was still significantly better to be fully submerged so I was happier than I had been.  

Time passed (very weirdly, I might add.  I had no sense of time during my labor.  It passed really really quickly, which surprised me) and eventually they checked me again.  I was at a measly 6.  A SIX.  If I could've screamed I would have.  I felt like I was going to rip apart with each contraction.  At this point, I truly felt that my dream of a drug-free labor was lost and that I wouldn't be able to hack it.  They were measuring my baby's heart beat and were worried it wasn't responding the right way, which meant I might have to have a C-section.  I will admit my stupid brain thought "YES.  If I can have a C-section I don't have to deal with this awful pain!"  However, I knew well enough to know that a C-section was the last thing I wanted.  Luckily, baby's heartbeat started responding right and they didn't push for it.

My next contraction came and all of a sudden my body was forcefully pushing.  I had heard that I would have an "uncontrollable urge to push" but I hadn't realized that meant my body would actually be uncontrollable and push without my consent.  I panicked because I knew I shouldn't be pushing while only dilated to a 6.  I told the doctors and they said "try not to do that again."  Haha, like I had any say!  My body does what it wants!  

Another contraction came, and again my body pushed.  Every single muscle in my abs and back were united in trying to get my baby out of my body.  It actually felt a LOT better to be pushing.  I preferred the pushing contractions WAY over the other ones.  Transition really sucks, that's all I have to say.  :)

With each pushing contraction, I could feel the progress my body was making.  I could feel his head move lower and lower down my body.  Most first timers complain that the baby comes down the canal only to come back up and lose progress.  I definitely did not have that problem.  With each contraction, he made a lot of progress.  Eventually he got low enough that I thought I was going to have a bowel movement (ha, gross).  Luckily, I didn't(!) and it was just his head being so low.  

A few short contractions later, I felt Baby Boy's head pop out.  The contraction pushed again and suddenly I had a baby in my arms.  It was incredible!  I only had about seven pushing contractions total--so bizarre!  He was born at 2:41 AM and weighed 8 lbs 4 ozs and 21 inches long.  From start to finish my labor was just shy of 7 hours.  Apparently my midwife was right--I was going to have a fast labor.  Unfortunately, my body pushed so quickly that it didn't have time to properly stretch and I ended up with a rather large tear.  It was a partial Stage III tear.  Google it.  Wait, on second thought, don't, because it's horrifying.  I also hemorrhaged a bit so they were worried about my blood loss.  Luckily, that resolved itself pretty quickly.  Also, I'd like to comment that the part where they have to push on your tummy to get the remaining bits out after labor is the worst.  The absolute worst.  I kind wanted to punch somebody during that part.

After everything calmed down, I was so happy to realize that I had succeeded in my goal of having a natural drug-free childbirth.  My baby was happy and healthy and so was I.  Other than passing out in the bathroom while they check to make sure you can still pee (mothers have no pride at this point), all went well after the labor.  

My final thoughts: water birth is the way to go.  If I hadn't had the giant tub, I would've tapped out.  The pain would've been too much for me to withstand.  However, having that option made all the difference in the world.  The best part is that I almost wasn't eligible to give birth in a tub!  The hospital had just gotten approval the week before to let women actually deliver in the tubs.  I had signed a waiver just that morning giving me the option to deliver in the tub in case I wanted to.  I ended up being the very first water birth at the hospital!  I hadn't even intended to actually deliver in the water, but once the pain hit there was no way I was getting out of that tub!  Thank goodness I had signed the waiver!

So that's my birth story.  It was intense and incredible.  I loved being fully aware and involved in what my body was doing, even if sometimes it was so intense I wished I couldn't feel it.  With my next birth, I'll definitely go the same route.  However, I might need to take up residency in the hospital because if I'm like the average woman my next labor will be even quicker!

Totally worth it:

Two Weeks Later

I can't believe I've been a mom for two weeks. As any mom knows, it's an incredible and insane adjustment.  I have no idea when I will be able to sleep more than two hours at a time again! And simple things like showering and eating now take a lot more planning. Sometimes they just don't happen!  And holy cow....the body goes through some incredible (and painful!) changes during the first few weeks.  But it is more than worth it. I love my little baby boy.

I am happy to say that physically my body has bounced back from pregnancy very well. I'm one of the lucky few that never got any stretch marks during pregnancy. I had heard that sometimes they show up after the birth, but I have been super lucky and have avoided that fate. Thank you, genetics!

I'm also really happy to say that I'm back to my pre-pregnancy weight. I weighed in this morning at 162 lbs. While that is definitely not my goal weight, its nice that I'm not having to fight to lose baby weight on top of the weight I already had. I am, however, quite a bit squishier than I was before!  I'm looking forward to tightening things back up.  With the super nice spring weather we've been having lately, I've been taking walks in the park.   It's a good way to get my body ready for the real work headed its way in a few weeks!

My body is healing well from the trauma of actual labor. I'll write the birth story soon, but I did actually have the natural birth I wanted. It was fast and incredibly difficult. I'm glad it worked out the way I wanted, though. I will cherish that memory for a long time. The moment I got to hold my son in my arms for the first time was absolutely incredible. Definitely life changing!

Well, that's my update for now. I am typing this from my phone while a certain handsome young man sleeps on my chest. I just love being a mom!

He's Here!

Born 2/28 at 2:40 am weighing 8 lbs 4 oz and 21 inches long.  I never knew I could love anything so much!

39 Weeks Later--What's the Damage?

Whoa.

I am less than a week away from my due date.  I'm going to be a full-fledged mom in such a short amount of time.  It's getting real up in here.

As I approach my final week(ish) of pregnancy, I have marveled at the dramatic changes my body has undergone.  My once mostly flat belly is now as round as a beach ball (which my two year old niece truly thought I was hiding under my shirt!).  My boobs are huge.  There is no way around this fact--they seriously grew several sizes and I'm terrified because I hear that they are about to grow two more.  Help me.  And my bones have literally shifted to make way for baby's arrival.  Being pregnant is kind of insane.

After looking at how different my body looks now versus before, I can't help but think about the upcoming journey that is headed my way--getting back to pre-baby weight and shape.  While it has been nice to be more relaxed about calorie counting and exercise the last few months, I am ready to get back into a place where I am actively trying to improve myself and become stronger.  And to do that, I need to look at the current damage and assess goals.  So how did my pregnancy go for me?

Unfortunately, I don't have measurements from back in May when I got pregnant.  As you might remember, I had gained some weight back after injury and weighed in at 162.2 on the day I found out I was pregnant.  That means I have gained 23.2 lbs during this pregnancy which is right where my doctor wanted me to be.  They have been very happy with my weight gain and healthy during this pregnancy, and have commented on it every time I've come in.  I must admit, it has been nice to hear.

However, you can see that I have put on weight in areas other than just my belly.  That is partially due to the awesome swelling I'm experiencing right now (no wedding ring for me!), but I know that some of it is related to the extra fat you put on during pregnancy for baby.  And as always, it went straight to my thighs.  Booo.  Oh, and to my boobs.  Again, they are gigantic--growing 4 inches??  How is that even possible??

So what do I plan to do about the weight gain?  Well, I plan on being smart about it.  I'm told that the average woman loses an average of 12 lbs on the day she gives birth.  Over the next week or so she loses about another 5 in water weight.  The rest, however, only comes off with hard work and dedication.  Keeping in mind that I shouldn't start a workout program for 6-weeks after baby, I plan on starting out slow and building momentum until I can be working out at full effort.  I can't wait to go for walks in the sunshine with my baby.  (Dear Utah--I said sunshine, not snow!)  Once I'm cleared for exercise, I will be starting Crossfit at Hubster's gym.  I'm looking forward to the challenge and for adding some needed muscle.  Car seats aren't light, much to my dismay.  I need some muscles to be able to haul my baby around!

I would also like to get back to running, but in a more manageable way.  As much as I loved my marathon and the half marathons I did, I have lost ALL of my endurance training and need to start over from scratch.  I would love to run a 5k this year and hopefully a 10k.  It really depends on how much time I have to dedicate to both Crossfit and running.  And I want to stay injury free.  All the injuries I've had from running have really tainted the wonderful experiences I've had with my races.  Injuries are discouraging and really demoralizing.  So 2013 will hopefully be an injury free year!

With the renewed dedication to health and physical activity, you can expect me to be more vocal on this neglected blog of mine!  I have really missed the blogging community and the inspiration I get from each of you.  While I've been pretty much radio silent on both this blog and with commenting, please know that I have kept reading all of your journeys and have been so impressed with all of you (even if you are going through tough struggles and aren't impressed with yourself currently).  I can't wait to be a part of this active community again!

In the meantime, I will enjoy my final days spent with this view:

Feet? What feet?

39 Weeks (and 1 day)

Almost done baking this baby!

Two More Weeks...

Ummm...that's not a very long time!  I'm getting nervous and so excited!!  Ready or not, here we come...