Wednesday, March 7, 2012

I've lost faith.

I'm in a bad place, guys. A dark place. I've been trying to stay motivated and trying to care about eating healthy and losing weight but I just. don't. care.  And while it is good to keep trying and keep going through the motions rather than just give up, it's still not a very good place to be.

So what's causing it?

I've been trying to answer that question for months now. After all, it is the key to moving forward.  Today, I think I finally figured it out--I've lost faith.  I've lost faith in the promise of results. I've lost faith that if I eat right and work out hard that I can actually achieve the fabled perfectly toned body.  I've lost faith that all my efforts and sacrifices and struggles will be worth it.  I've lost faith in the scale.  I've lost faith in the mantra of "it's just calories in versus calories out."  I've been following that freaking mantra for a year and my weight hasn't nudged.  In fact, I'm gaining.  And I hate it.  And I hate that I feel like there is nothing I can do to stop it.  I feel like I'm destined to always be the fat girl no matter how hard I work.  I feel like no effort will ever get me to where I want to be. 

And that sucks.

I've lost faith in the process and I have no idea how to get it back.


  1. Don't lose faith, my friend! You're just temporarily stuck :) Maybe try some workouts that are completely out of your comfort realm, like things you NEVER do? Zumba or something?! That'll shake it up for ya!

  2. No advice. Just lots of love from Minnesota. I 100% understand how you feel.... And I can't wait for you to get the faith back. Love, love, love. I believe in you.

  3. I have also been there and there are no words. Sending you lots of love and support!

  4. I know what you are going through. Are you tracking all your food? That has helped me. You could also work towards something else....running a longer race? Better time? Just don't give up!

  5. Don't lose faith...maybe it's just hiding for a little while. That happens to me, too...but usually about things other than working out and fitness. Maybe something is going on in your body that you don't know about? I suddenly developed a sensitivity to soy, of all things, which is in everything. And now I suddenly find myself weighing 10 lbs more than I did 6 months ago...because of how soy affected my body's functioning. It'll all work out for you...but hang on to the faith in the fact that it will. Sending you strength :)

  6. I'm sorry you're struggling. You can email me anytime if you need to talk yourself out of quitting!

  7. No advice from me, sorry. I'm in the exact same place. Last night I came home from work and just stood in my kitchen and stuffed my face. I haven't run in over 3 weeks and I don't remember the last time I did yoga. Fingers crossed that we can both pull through this funk.

  8. Becky I can totally understand where you are coming from here. I was 20lbs overweight for 2+ years and I was in this place that you are in often. But you know what you need to start loving you because you CAN get out of this funk but you have to do it for you and no one else. With that said I think that you look great and hope you can find the beauty in you that I see.

    One thing is for sure and that is that quitting or settling will not make you happy. Sorry for the tough love but I just care about you so much and want you to be the best Becky that you can be.

  9. Oh Becky. HUGS!!!! Most of us have been there. What you need to have faith in, is that you are WORTH the effort of exercising. That you WILL feel better, physically and emotionally, when you put the effort in. That it is NOT easy to lose weight, but you can and you will. That doing is slowly is the best, and longest-lasting way. That everyone backslides and has challenges, but we can't let ourselves be defeated. AND, that you are so much more than a number on a scale or how a pair of pants fit (or don't!!)
    Start today. Make good choices for yourself. Make time to get some kind of exercise. Every step in the right direction is one to be proud of and to feel good about. The journey is just as important as the goal. YOU are worth it and YOU can do it.

  10. This is the place where I usually give up. When I'm stuck and I don't see results and I feel like I'm doing all the exercise for nothing. But! Do not give up!

    If you think you've spend too much time in a limbo of plateau, change something! Something is not working, so re-evaluate what you are doing. Take a different class, like Heather mentioned: Zumba, or yoga, or pilates, or go try out a gym class, anything that would be out of your regular routine that would push you to work your muscles in a different way.

    If all else fails, splurge on a session with a trainer. It's worth it.

    If this doesn't work, then re-read some of your earlier posts about why you're doing this, what is motivating you, why you don't want to go backwards.

    You need to get motivated to change things up, to be patient, and to stick to the plan. You can change the plan, but you need the same commitment that you have before: I am doing this. Period. It's just figuring out what the new plan is.