This moment. This moment right here. This is why I still care and still continue. I'm sitting here at a play and I just can't fully enjoy myself. Why? Because my damn pants are digging into my stomach because they are just too freaking tight. These same pants were too loose for me a few months ago. I am furious that I'm back to this and I REFUSE to go up a pants size. Ain't happening. Instead, I will go running. I will go running because feeling like this and worrying about this crap just sucks. I'll run and I'll run until these stupid pants are falling off me. And I'll remember this moment and the shame of the extra weight and I will use it as fuel for my fire.